HOA Bans the Color Beige, Cites "Excessive Neutrality"

WILLOW CREEK, SUBURBIA — The Willow Creek Homeowners Association passed Article 94 Tuesday, officially banning the color beige from all visible exterior surfaces.

"Beige is what happens when a house gives up," said HOA President Karen Fencepost. "We demand commitment. If you want neutral, try 'Stormy Commitment' or 'Beige But With Conviction.'"

The approved color palette includes "Assertive Taupe," "Decisive Greige," and "Mahogany With Opinions." Violators will receive a fine of $500 and mandatory attendance at a paint seminar.

Local resident Tom Neutralton, whose entire home is beige, has begun a legal battle he describes as "the civil rights movement of boring colors."

Paint industry analysts say the ruling could reshape the suburban landscape, or at least make driving through Willow Creek slightly more interesting.