PORTLAND, FICTIONAL DISTRICT — Kevin Hartley, 39, who assured his wife he could repair the kitchen faucet "in twenty minutes tops," has entered hour six of what experts are calling "a cascading series of plumbing catastrophes."
"I watched a twelve-minute YouTube video," Hartley explained, standing in three inches of water. "I felt prepared."
The project, which began as a simple washer replacement, has since involved the discovery of a pipe that "shouldn't bend that way," the purchase of $340 in tools he will never use again, and a mysterious second leak that appeared "out of spite."
His wife, Linda, has been sitting on the couch eating ice cream with the quiet dignity of a woman who has seen this episode before.
The couple has agreed Kevin will call a professional plumber, whom Hartley plans to watch carefully "so I'll know for next time."