BROOKLYN, FICTIONAL HEIGHTS — Trendy café Brunch & Beyond unveiled a "Homeownership Starter Pack" Monday: 400 orders of avocado toast ($17 each) that cumulatively equal one down payment on a house that does not exist in this economy.
"We heard the jokes," said owner Sage Artisinale. "We decided to lean in. If millennials won't stop buying avocado toast, we might as well make it a real estate strategy."
The bundle includes a punch card, a tote bag that says "Property Owner (Pending)," and a complimentary reality check from a financial advisor who "will laugh kindly but firmly."
Economist Dr. Penny Pincher called the promotion "a perfect satire of housing markets, which we apparently now need from restaurants."
The first customer to complete the card, 32-year-old Riley Broke, received a deed to a miniature house made of toast. "It's a start," they said, weeping into an oat milk latte.