OAKHAVEN, Vt. — The Oakhaven Town Council voted 4–1 on Monday to renew the contract of a theatrical consultant tasked with translating the non-verbal cues of Mayor Buster, a nine-year-old Great Pyrenees, into enforceable municipal ordinances.
The decision secures an $85,000 annual retainer for Marcus Vance, a former off-Broadway director who was hired in November after Buster won a landslide write-in campaign during a contentious local tax dispute. Rather than treating the canine’s victory as symbolic, town administrators have committed to a literal interpretation of the mayor’s daily routines, converting his physical behavior into civic policy.
"Buster does not communicate through traditional legislative channels," Vance said during a press conference at Town Hall, while the mayor lay asleep near the radiator. "He speaks through weight, posture, and presence. When the mayor turns his back to a zoning proposal for the new mixed-use development, that is not a lack of interest—it is an active, physical veto of high-density residential planning."
Under Vance’s stewardship, Oakhaven’s bi-weekly council meetings have transitioned from standard bureaucratic sessions into highly attended performance pieces. Local residents, alongside visiting theater critics from nearby Burlington, regularly pack the gallery to watch Vance interpret the mayor's executive actions in real time.
In June, a tense debate over the municipal paving budget was resolved when Buster sneezed twice and walked out of the room to drink from a puddle. According to the official minutes, Vance interpreted the sneeze as a rejection of asphalt-based solutions in favor of permeable gravel, and the water-drinking as an executive mandate to prioritize watershed protection.
While some residents have questioned the methodology, Town Administrator Claire Dubois defended the administrative expenses, noting that municipal productivity has reached historic highs.
"Under the previous administration, a simple easement dispute could drag on for six months in committee," Dubois said. "Now, we present the deed to Mayor Buster. If he rests his chin on it, it’s approved. If he tries to eat the corner of the document, we redraft it. It has streamlined our entire bureaucratic pipeline, and we are saving thousands in legal fees."
The lone dissenting vote on the council, Harold Finch, expressed concern that the translation process has become increasingly subjective, pointing to a recent decision that converted the town’s emergency reserve fund into high-protein dietary supplements.
"I have deep respect for the mayor's character," Finch said. "But when we spent three hours debating whether a low growl at a mail truck constituted an official declaration of eminent domain over federal property, I began to feel we had lost our administrative focus."
Despite the criticism, Vance remains confident in Buster’s leadership style, noting that the mayor’s approval rating sits at an unprecedented 84 percent.
"The community is finally seeing its government act with total transparency," Vance said. "You always know exactly where Buster stands, especially if there is cheese on the table."