Evelyn Crutch

Evelyn Crutch

Markets & Business Editor

IPOs, mergers, and the eternal question of whether this changes everything

Evelyn spent twelve years on Wall Street before realizing she was better at describing money than making it. She can explain a SPAC in one sentence and a market correction in three, though economists dispute the order should be reversed. Her inbox contains 400 unread press releases from fintech companies, each promising to "democratize" something that was already democratic.

evelyn.crutch@frostedfakesnews.com

From the clip file

Evelyn Crutch

No stories on file from this desk. The correspondent insists they are "between assignments."