Morning Edition
11 stories filed this edition. The datelines are specific; the premises are negotiable.
The neighborhood association’s new 'Visual Harmony' guidelines utilize smart-camera analytics to penalize frowning, sighing, and visible exhaustion.
A master-planned community in Indiana has introduced fines for residents who fail to maintain a 'neutral-to-pleasant' expression while visible from the street.
Continue reading →A software update at an Austin technology firm is locking employees out of their computers until biometric sensors confirm they have achieved "optimal…
A chrononaut from the year 2142 has suspended his historic research mission in Boston, citing profound disappointment with local artisanal bread.
A new national study reveals that a vast majority of Americans believe cloud computing relies on a physical, visible weather pattern in the sky.
The foundational paper on universal gravitation has been stalled after academic referees questioned the commercial viability of falling apples.
The Fairlawn City Council defended the transition to 'Infrastructure-as-a-Service,' citing budget deficits and the high cost of LED maintenance.
A wellness influencer has been hired to salvage a state pension database after her green-screen aesthetic videos were mistaken for COBOL programming tutorials.
A multi-trillion-dollar time travel expedition was abruptly terminated after a researcher from the 23rd century failed to configure a smart lightbulb.
Columbus lawmakers are grappling with a newly updated AI legislative drafting tool that interpreted decades of political performance as a literal structural…
A new mobile application uses biometric tracking and gaze-drift algorithms to ensure users are zoning out with maximum efficiency.
The annual Oakhaven Crevice Days festival kicked off Tuesday, drawing hundreds to celebrate a three-inch-long sidewalk crack classified as a dormant fault line.